Confessions of a Self-Enabler

I'm not a runner.     I've never been good at math.     That's not how we've done it.    It's not something I am comfortable with.   I'll probably just screw it up anyway.   I just don't like the taste of fish... or vegetables.    I'm too old to go back to school and start a new career.

                                  I'm not...I don't....I can't.                          
                                      
For decades I uttered these mantras with vigor and pride. Actually, some of them were uttered for me before I adopted them. No disrespect to my mom, but she once told me, "It's ok, math just doesn't come easy for you." It came easy to her. It didn't to me so I just gladly proclaimed that I was never really good at math. 

But one day I realized that I was my own worst enabler. I was a self-enabler.  According to Beverly Glazer, "When a person is capable, and their responsibilities are handled for them all the time, they're not being responsible. Enabling prevents consequences – regardless of what the consequences are." According to Rob Darling, "When we make excuses for why we can't do things or don't do things, we are being irresponsible and avoiding accountability." 

I was fully capable but I was enabling myself to avoid consequences, good or bad. Oh, the powerful, destructive nature of having a fixed mindset. 

So, one day I had an epiphany. I realized that I was my own roadblock. I enrolled in college again, though this time as a 29 year old. I took Math 99 three times before I passed. But then I aced math 101 and beyond. I bought some shoes, started running, and ran 13 marathons in 6 years, losing 50+ pound in the process. I made myself eat fish at least once a week and, although I still struggle with some sushi, I see and feel the health benefits of eating it. My wife had to force veggies on me, that one I admit was tougher. But, mushrooms, olives, and those little green and yellow squash from Costco aside, there isn't a vegetable I don't enjoy. In the last 10 years I have earned my AA, my BA, my MS, and my Ed.D.

My point? Everything we need to make us better is just outside of our comfort zone. And I'm convinced that we, intrinsically, have everything it takes to accomplish anything we want. Surround yourself with others of the same mindset (my wife is a huge supporter of mine). Get out of your comfort zone! Change your mantra!