Confessions of a Self-Enabler

I'm not a runner.     I've never been good at math.     That's not how we've done it.    It's not something I am comfortable with.   I'll probably just screw it up anyway.   I just don't like the taste of fish... or vegetables.    I'm too old to go back to school and start a new career.

                                  I'm not...I don't....I can't.                          
                                      
For decades I uttered these mantras with vigor and pride. Actually, some of them were uttered for me before I adopted them. No disrespect to my mom, but she once told me, "It's ok, math just doesn't come easy for you." It came easy to her. It didn't to me so I just gladly proclaimed that I was never really good at math. 

But one day I realized that I was my own worst enabler. I was a self-enabler.  According to Beverly Glazer, "When a person is capable, and their responsibilities are handled for them all the time, they're not being responsible. Enabling prevents consequences – regardless of what the consequences are." According to Rob Darling, "When we make excuses for why we can't do things or don't do things, we are being irresponsible and avoiding accountability." 

I was fully capable but I was enabling myself to avoid consequences, good or bad. Oh, the powerful, destructive nature of having a fixed mindset. 

So, one day I had an epiphany. I realized that I was my own roadblock. I enrolled in college again, though this time as a 29 year old. I took Math 99 three times before I passed. But then I aced math 101 and beyond. I bought some shoes, started running, and ran 13 marathons in 6 years, losing 50+ pound in the process. I made myself eat fish at least once a week and, although I still struggle with some sushi, I see and feel the health benefits of eating it. My wife had to force veggies on me, that one I admit was tougher. But, mushrooms, olives, and those little green and yellow squash from Costco aside, there isn't a vegetable I don't enjoy. In the last 10 years I have earned my AA, my BA, my MS, and my Ed.D.

My point? Everything we need to make us better is just outside of our comfort zone. And I'm convinced that we, intrinsically, have everything it takes to accomplish anything we want. Surround yourself with others of the same mindset (my wife is a huge supporter of mine). Get out of your comfort zone! Change your mantra!

a re-Post from Dr. Anthony Muhammad

from: http://www.solution-tree.com/blog/all-talk-resist-change/

All Talk: 3 Phrases That Resist Productive Change

Change is a very difficult process, but it is the catalyst to continuous improvement. It tests our ability as professionals at many different levels. Sometimes, when things get too challenging, we tend to look for short-cuts or we quietly surrender. We live in a political climate that demands that we change, whether we choose to or not, but I have found that some organizations are good at creating the illusion of change, rather than being fully involved in the process of change. There are a three key phrases which clearly indicate that an organization is not fully committed to the change process.

#1: “We are having conversations.”

This phrase is a code for; “we have a lot of opposition to this idea and we are afraid to make people too uncomfortable and release an onslaught of political and social opposition.” I recently worked with a school that has been involved with the implementation of the Professional Learning Community (PLC) process for three years. They have created collaborative teams and they have designated time for those collaborative teams to meet. They have created district-wide formative assessments that are administered four times per year. These milestones were reached in the first year of the process. So, I asked about PLC Questions #3 and #4 which address systems of student intervention and enrichment, and the room got very quiet. When people finally began to speak, each answer began with the phrase “we are having conversations.” If your district is “having conversations,” the change process has stalled.

#2: “We are in different places.”

This phrase is code for; “we don’t have a universal system of accountability, and people who understand the intrinsic value of what we propose have embraced it, and those that are averse are allowed to disregard it until they ‘buy-in’.” Schools and systems that use this phrase are engaged in what I call “accountability light.” This is a diet version of universal professional accountability where group expectations and coherence are the norm. Healthy school cultures make collaborative decisions and they hold each other mutually accountable for full participation. When shared commitment is not achieved, a tiered-system of commitment emerges where implementation is based upon personal preference. Partial commitment is the same as no commitment.

#3: “District initiatives.”

This phrase is code for; “there is a huge philosophical divide between school practitioners and central office which has led to a stalemate.” I have had the pleasure to work with thousands of schools on the change process and whenever practitioners refer to the change process as a “district initiative,” it is never good. In essence what they are expressing is a feeling of imposition. In the mind of the school practitioner, they are confronting real world issues and they have their fingers on the pulse of the needs of the school; and central office lives a world disconnected from reality and their priorities are unreasonable and unnecessary. This is a clear indication of poor communication and professional disconnection. If you district has a lot of “initiatives,” effective change is probably not on the horizon.

Want to improve your efficacy as a teacher?

Ask yourself...

1.       How can I engage every student? How can I recognize missed opportunities for sharing thinking or using question stems to help students go deeper in their thinking? How can I make every student be engaged in “mind’s on” learning?

2.       Do I have lessons or instructional methods that allowed students to opt-out? Am I intentional on making sure no students can hide during learning, and that there is more learning going on than teaching?

3.       Am I asking tough, open-ended questions, then letting  students earn the learning, or do I come to their rescue for fear of letting them make a mistake or feel bad? Do I let them productively struggle?

Reading success comes from you, at home